Who’s on First Script: The Legendary Abbott and Costello Routine
Introduction
One of the most famous and enduring comedic routines in history is "Who’s on First" by Abbott and Costello. This classic sketch, which plays on misunderstandings and wordplay, has captivated audiences since its debut in the 1930s. Its brilliance lies in the rapid-fire dialogue, the clever confusion between the names of baseball players and common pronouns, and the impeccable timing of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. In this blog post, we will explore the history of "Who’s on First," break down its script, and examine why it remains one of the most celebrated comedic acts of all time.
The Origins of "Who’s on First"
Abbott and Costello, one of the most famous comedy duos in entertainment history, perfected this routine during their vaudeville and radio performances before bringing it to a wider audience through film and television. The sketch first gained widespread popularity when it was performed on The Kate Smith Hour in 1938. It quickly became their signature routine, later making its way into the 1945 film The Naughty Nineties, where it was immortalized on the silver screen.
While versions of the routine had existed in burlesque and vaudeville, Abbott and Costello perfected it, creating a seamless back-and-forth exchange that continues to entertain audiences nearly a century later.
The Premise
The humor of "Who’s on First" revolves around a conversation between Abbott (the straight man) and Costello (the bewildered and frustrated sidekick). Abbott is explaining to Costello the names of players on a fictional baseball team, but the names themselves lead to relentless confusion.
The team lineup includes:
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Who (First Base)
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What (Second Base)
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I Don’t Know (Third Base)
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Why (Left Field)
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Because (Center Field)
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Tomorrow (Pitcher)
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Today (Catcher)
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I Don’t Give a Darn (Shortstop)
Costello, trying to understand, becomes increasingly frustrated as Abbott's seemingly straightforward explanations only create more confusion.
The Classic "Who’s on First" Script Breakdown
Below is a condensed version of the script, highlighting some of its funniest exchanges:
Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ballplayers nowadays very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Well, let's see, we have on the bags... Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: That’s what I want to find out.
Abbott: I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know’s on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don’t know the fellows’ names?
Abbott: Well, I should.
Costello: Then who’s on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing first base.
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: What are you asking me for?!
(The sketch continues with similar exchanges for second base, third base, and the rest of the team.)
By the end of the routine, Costello is completely exasperated, and Abbott remains unfazed, making for a perfect comedic contrast.
Why "Who’s on First" is Timeless
1. Masterful Wordplay: The confusion stems from the simple but brilliant idea of using common pronouns and adverbs as names. This kind of humor transcends language barriers and cultural differences.
2. Impeccable Timing: Abbott and Costello’s chemistry made the routine work so well. Their rapid delivery and perfect synchronization added to the hilarity.
3. Universal Appeal: Even people who aren’t baseball fans or comedy aficionados can appreciate the cleverness of the sketch. The confusion and frustration are universally relatable.
4. Influence on Modern Comedy: Many comedians and writers have referenced "Who’s on First" in films, TV shows, and stand-up acts. Its legacy can be seen in everything from Saturday Night Live skits to references in animated shows like The Simpsons and Family Guy.
Variations and Parodies
Over the years, "Who’s on First" has been parodied and adapted in numerous ways. Some notable adaptations include:
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Johnny Carson and Dean Martin performing their own versions of the skit.
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The Animaniacs creating a variation called "Who’s on Stage?" featuring musical performers.
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Saturday Night Live incorporating it into various sketches.
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The film Rain Man (1988) featuring Dustin Hoffman’s character reciting part of the routine.
Even modern internet culture has embraced "Who’s on First," with YouTube remixes, memes, and AI-generated variations continuing its legacy.
Conclusion
"Who’s on First" remains a comedic masterpiece that has stood the test of time. The sheer brilliance of its wordplay, the skillful delivery by Abbott and Costello, and the routine’s universal appeal make it one of the greatest comedy sketches ever written. Whether you’re watching it for the first time or revisiting it as a longtime fan, the humor of "Who’s on First" never gets old.
If you’ve never seen the routine, it’s well worth watching a clip of Abbott and Costello performing it—you’re guaranteed to laugh. And if you have seen it, why not revisit it and appreciate once again the genius of two comedic legends?
What’s your favorite moment from "Who’s on First"? Let us know in the comments!